Q & A: By Alysa Monét & Co.
Today on the blog I have Alysa Monét of by Alysa Monét & Co. Not only is she the owner and lead designer of her planning company, but she’s also a mental health practitioner. I have loved hearing her speak so passionately about her work in the field, and how she works closely with her couples to help them remain present, stress-free, and excited throughout their entire planning process.
In today’s post, Alysa is sharing with us strategies to stay grounded right now, how to elevate your wedding design *and* incorporate sustainability with a smaller wedding, her #1 tip for how to prioritize your wedding budget, and so many more goodies you'll just have to read on to find out! Enjoy!
Q: Hey Alysa, welcome! Tell us a little about yourself, where you’re located, and the services you offer.
Hey! My name is Alysa Monét and I’m the owner and lead designer of by Alysa Monét & Co. I’m located in San Jose, Ca, which is also my hometown! I offer a variety of services to engaged couples including wedding day coordination and full service wedding planning. I’m a designer at heart so it excites me to be able to participate fully in the wedding planning process with my couples but at the end of the day, I truly just enjoy working with couples who are in love however they need my support. Most of my weddings have taken place up the California central coast and I’m available for travel anywhere worldwide (pending COVID restrictions, of course!)
My sister and my husband are an integral part of my business and team and bring a breadth of perspective and experience to the wedding planning process and the wedding day production. There’s definitely an art to working with family and I think we’ve nailed it. Working weddings together comes with a lot of laughing, snacks (SO many snacks), and singing ABBA’s Dancing Queen at least once (it’s become a ritual for us).
Outside of wedding planning and designing I also work in the mental health field with children in foster care and with children in juvenile detention. It’s tough work but it fills my cup up and splitting my time in these two fields helps me exercise different parts of my creativity, which I really appreciate and enjoy.
Q: What are some misconceptions clients have about hiring a wedding planner? Can you debunk these for us?
I think most couples worry that hiring a wedding planner removes their own participation in planning and preparing for their wedding day, which can feel like a turn off for those with a strong sense of what they’d like and who worry about turning over control of that vision. I 100% shared this mindset when I was engaged so I can personally really relate. My own wedding day vision was very clear and I worried that hiring a planner would result in a cookie-cutter wedding that didn’t feel like me or my fiance (now husband). In reality, hiring a wedding planner actually allows for your wedding day vision to be elevated by a professional who knows how to incorporate trends in a cohesive and seamless way that is also representative of you.
Q: Let’s talk trends. What are some you’re loving, and some you’re thinking it’s time to move on from?
Over the last 2 years I’ve loved watching and participating in the growing trend of micro weddings, which has kind of chicly replaced the concept of elopements and involves a ceremony and reception of under 50 people. Especially with COVID in mind, I highly encourage couples to strongly consider the size of their wedding guest list when planning their wedding. Weddings can be incredibly expensive and a budget is definitely impacted by the number of attendees. A wedding day design can be elevated by simple tweaks to the guest list and most couples are surprised to see how much of their budget is allocated to catering; depending on the size of their budget, this can reduce the budget for many other services. Budget aside, a micro wedding provides the most magical and romantic intimacy that none of my couples have ever regretted. Last thing about micro-weddings, another huge perk is how environmentally conscious they can be. Less guests hopefully also means less waste.
In terms of trends that need to go… Can we finally get rid of lengthy and complicated wedding hashtags?! No one seems to remember to use them! Also… signs in every corner! Don’t get me wrong, I love a beautiful sign and more so, I especially love when signage is strategically and minimally placed throughout a wedding.
Q: Where do you find your inspiration, outside of Pinterest?
Instagram! I follow a ton of Instagram pages that are focused on landscape photography, home decor, and fashion, which help me stay up to date with trends and also keep me inspired. Some of my favorite pages are:
Q: Can you give us a sneak peek into your design process?
The design process for me often starts in my head (which may seem obvious) and as I’m drafting up design boards I typically play music that reflects the inspiration behind the design plans. Music is such a vehicle for me to identify textures and colors that match a couple’s aesthetic and when I’m participating in the wedding day production I often play the same music to remain inspired. Way, way before I get to this point though, I love to meet and get to know my couples, understand their design visions and even spend time reviewing their Pinterest boards to get a sense of what they do and don’t like design wise.
Q: In your opinion, what’s the most impactful part of a wedding day design?
Florals! I’m a sucker for gorgeous flowers in general but wow, florals make all of the difference!
Q: When discussing budget for event design, where do you encourage your clients to invest and prioritize their budget?
A $5.00 wedding with a $5000.00 photographer will make your wedding seems like it was worth $5 million - I exaggerate but, the investment in a photographer will not disappoint.
Q: What are some mistakes clients make when thinking and planning their wedding day design?
Integrating too many trendy details at once. I think it’s so important for a wedding to feel timeless and too many trendy details can lead to regrets when you look back on your wedding photos in 5, 10, 50 years! (Think 80’s and puffy sleeve dresses!)
Q: You’re also a mental health practitioner and recently graduated with a masters in social work. Congrats! How does your work in that space impact your work as a wedding designer?
I am! My work as a mental health practitioner and as a wedding designer incorporate a lot of the same values: mainly, connection. Fundamentally, we as humans need to feel connected to one another and so much of my training around mental health allows me to be present with my clients and support their growth and development as a soon-to-be-married-couple as much as I’m supporting and facilitating their wedding day desires. My motto (which is super cheesy, I know) is that by taking care of the tough wedding work, I open up space for my couples to have a “marriage more beautiful than their wedding day.”
Q: Have you developed any new daily routines or rituals throughout shelter in place?
Months 1 and 2 of shelter-in-place felt like I was manically incorporating a billion daily rituals to try and survive. I’m talking yoga in the mornings, a leisurely walk in the afternoon, zoom calls with any and everyone, playing a “work-from-home” playlist… the works! Now, I make sure I get fully dressed (even with shoes) in the mornings, and I try to do as many of the same things in the morning that I would’ve done if I were actually heading out for the day. I try to take care of as many household chores throughout the day so that when I’m officially “off work” I can just relax! It’s been working really well for me and these weeks are feeling enjoyable again!
Q: It’s no secret that wedding planning is stressful. Add a pandemic on top of that, and there can be serious impacts on mental health. What are some tips you have to help engaged couples cope?
Prior to COVID I’ve always asked my couples to agree on 5 non-negotiables for their wedding day (in terms of needs, wants, desires) and then “let go” of every other expectation outside of those 5 non-negotiables. I stole this from the show Millionaire Matchmaker (haha!) but it’s been an incredibly useful strategy to help keep my couples grounded throughout the planning process. Especially now that we’re in such an unpredictable time, aligning priorities at the very beginning of wedding planning is necessary if couples are going to get through this time level headed. I also urge couples to consider premarital counseling if financially feasible (several providers are offering services at a sliding scale rate right now).
Q: What are some centering practices you recommend for couples when it comes to the chaotic day-of?
Meditation! Am I sounding too much like a therapist right now?!
Also, a stress free wedding day includes surrounding yourself with a top notch getting-ready-crew who are going to help keep you level headed and excited. I think couples should take time to really consider this one!
Q: For couples hosting an intimate or smaller wedding, what’s a tip you have for creating thoughtful (and safe) experiences for them and their guests?
A couple that I recently worked with set up their “reception” dancing music to include music that was meant for couples. This eliminated the awkwardness of figuring out how to dance and social distance and was such a sweet moment that they shared with their guests during their short reception. The love was potent during this wedding!
Q: For anyone looking to step up their at-home entertaining game, what are your go-to at-home entertaining hacks?!
I am the most extra person when it comes to home entertaining and I really love a good theme (this drives my husband nuts). Anytime we host friends or family I find a theme that centers around our gathering and then research a game that’s in alignment with that theme. I find one or two food or drink items that are in alignment with the theme as well and then keep everything else simple. Am I doing the absolute most? Probably! Does it always make for a fun and memorable night? 100% yes.
Q: What does the next chapter of By Alysa Monét & Co. look like? Where do you see yourself and your business 5 years from now?
I’ve always had the dream of one day growing my business to incorporate services that are related to mental health and wellbeing. I’d love to one day be able to work with couples during their engagement as their wedding planner and designer, and then continue that work following their wedding day to offer marriage focused counseling and support.
Thanks so much for joining, Alysa!
email: hello@byalysamonet.com
instagram: @byalysamonet
website: byalysamonet.com